If you have OCD look away now

I need some help with some basic life skills. I have not got the hang of slicing a loaf of bread. No matter how hard I try it always ends up wonky. The other day my Son walked in while I was halfway through a sandwich, he assumed I had been eating a “doorstop sandwich” as my Gran would say. But the first half was really thin, honest.
I thought I had two evenly cut slices of bread today but it went squiffy at the end. Oh that reminds me of another conversation how do you spell squiffy? Skwiffy? Sckwiffy?

Anyway for those with a nervous disposition look away now 😉

  

If you have any hints and tips please leave a note in the comments, thank you.

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